If you care:

Zeke died in a car accident. It wasn't his fault.

Though it's still horrible, and we'll still miss him, it means that he never gave up, he was still fighting when he died. He didn't give up.

Ha, I'm right there with ya.

Baby seemed okay when I talked to him last. I IMed with Zeke two days ago, and Baby was fine. But ... that was two days ago. I'm worried too.

Is it weird that we're getting worried about someone we've never met?

I don't care. I'm scared.

I hope you have fun at your sister's baby shower :)

<3

Meghan

DearOne,

  Thank YOU so much for the note and for getting that about Jess! Whoa- she's come so very far.  I think that seeing the difference in me since they found the right meds has gone along way in convincing her that this is a real illness.  She also has a friend who was diagnosed with Bipolar, refused to take her meds and is now making crazy decisions- I think that played into Jess's awareness as well.

   I'm sorry that I can't be much help on this issue..But I CAN pray that God guide you to the perfect mate for you!

   I love you too,

        Jewel

well. ia m younger than you but i feel like i can NEver find the guy. I never dated anyone until i was 19.. that first realtionship i had lasted 2 months... LOL I laughed at it now... then i met a guy online we only went out three3 times. then i met two guys at the gym, they were the lifeguars.. bouth of them JERKS and liars. Then i me tthe guy i though was perfect. i slept with him and that was the end of the story, he hasn't called. Now i met another guy at a club, not physically attracted to him but his kisses are my weaknesss.

anyway, mt point being, i also felt like i could never meet guys... so a piece of advice , go to a club, a clubb that is packed of people or a bar where there is alot of people, go alone, get really pretty, and meet males!

I'm going for nursing. Lol to the comment below.
~Love Mystic

Dear Sweet Venus,

  Thank YOU sooo much for the special New Years wish and for the love that you have sent my way!  You have a special way of making me smile!

    I'm soooo proud of your accomplishments! I'm so glad that you are coming to see yourself as YOU TRULY are! Beautiful!!!!!

   I'm so glad that you got what you needed from your brother!  It's a BIG step forward for him...A Big step on the road to healing.

   I'm sending you alot of Love and alot of Good wishes!

   Much Love and Gratitude,

           Jewel 

  Please let us know how it goes...I'm sorry for your pain...You have a beautiful heart to be able to see the good things that he brought to your life...You are an amazing person! 

     Heart Hugs, Love and Prayers,

               Jewel

Heart Hugs and Prayers! Please be sure to let us know how things go...I'm here if you ever need to talk or email.

   I love you!,

     Jewel

Heart Hugs!  Glad that you are happy...Concerned about you though.  That's terrible about someone stealing your mom's identity!

   I LOVE YOU!,

       Jewel

Please let us know when you hear from him.

   Much Love!,

       Jewel

    Glad to read that you are doing well, My Friend!

 I hope that Jeff gets his phone soon..I know that you must miss him alot!

    Glad that you're not beating yourself up!

 Have a Blessed day!

  Love you!,

     Jewel

   Thank YOU! You are so welcome..I love you!!!!

   I'm so glad that you heard from Jeff.  That's a relief!   I know that helped you alot.

  I'm glad that you will be staying away from Vin and not allowing the lonliness to lead you to bad places!  YAY You!

   It occurs to me as I wrote that- that I sometimes allow my lonliness to lead ME to bad places.

   My lonliness makes no sense..I have friends...I have Wayne...I have God...

   I guess it just comes from adjusting to being without mom.

   YOUR honest sharing helped me to figure some things out.

   Please keep me posted!!!!!

    Love you!,

      Jewel

Heart Hugs and Prayers...I am so sad that you are going through this! I am here if you ever need to talk.

  I love you!,

     Jewel

Heart Hugs!

  Thank YOU for the love and prayers that you sent my way..that means sooooooo very much to me!

   I love you too!,

      Jewel

(((((((((((((Sirianna))))))))) I watched that episode too...It made me realize that I am still sick..I have anxiety bouts near every day recently.

   Sorry to read that you have been there.

    I'm here if you need to talk about it or about Jeff!

    Congrats on all of the weight loss..You are an inspiration.

    I love you Dearone,

         Jewel

 Hehehe to calling him toilet paper...that made me laugh...a needed laugh!

   Thank YOU sooo much for the Love that you sent my way.  It brought comfort to my heart and mind.

  Thank YOU for being a good friend to me always.

  I love you too,

        Jewel

Dearone,

   The past is dead...God has forgiven you!!!! Forgive yourself!!!!!!  You were at a bad place in your life...You made s mistake...You have learned from it and changed and grown...You didn't know how to love and value your precious self then..But you do NOW! I am proud of you and the person that you are TODAY!!!!

    Thank YOU so much for all of the support, love and prayers that you sent my way..YOU helped me more than you will ever realize! 

   You have a beautiful heart, spirit and soul! NEVER doubt that.

    I am so happy and proud of you for losing the weight because I know how much it means to you.  I loved you before..I love you NOW!

     Your MDD Sister,

              Jewel

My Dear Sweet and Precious Friend,

     Thank YOU so much for your email..I am sure that I WILL use it in the weeks to come!

 YOUR note meant so very much to me...Your love and friendship means so very much to me..I feel your heart walking beside mine and it gives me strength and comfort!

 I to am soooooo proud of you for your weight loss and for being proud of yourself! Go YOU!!!!!

   MUCH Love and Gratitude,

            Jewel

Heart Hugs! Thank YOU soooo much for your comforting note, support and love..It helps me sooo very much..Like a bright light on a dark day!

 Thank YOU soooo much for your prayers...They bring me so much comfort!!!

  Much Love and Gratitude,

        Jewel

P.S. I'm glad to read that you are feeling happy! That made me smile!

(((((((((((((((((Siriana)))))))))))))))) I'm sorry that I don't have time to read this entry right now..I will be leaving soon...But wanted to leave you a note and let you know how very, very much your support, your love and your prayers mean to me..they are truly carrying me through.

   Much Love and Gratitude,

          Jewel

Heart Hugs for the sadness and painful feelings..Please don't allow it to effect your self-esteem. HE was the one with the Problem.  YOU don't need someone who would treat you in that way...unless he's changed big time- He WILL eventually bring her as much heart-ache as well.

   Congrats ont he major weight loss! YAY You!

   Much Love and many Hugs,

          Jewel

(((((((((((((((((((Siriana))))))))))Your Jeff is soooo wise! Give him a THANK YOU from me...

   You know that I try to see the best in everyone...The Ex Jeff was a jerk!  I am sooo grateful to God for getting you away from him.

   Just keep being your beautiful self.

  Much Love,

      Jewel

(((((((((((((((((((Siriana))))))))))))))Heart Hugs!  Please know that I would never delete you from my favs!  I am very fond of you!

   Thank YOU for the sweet note.

   I hope that you update soon and let me know how things are with you.

   Have a Blessed day!

   Love,

    Jewel

YAY for feeling better! YAY For the exercise! YAY for things being good with jeff! YAY for all of the progress you have made!

 Have a blessed weekend!

   Love,

    Jewel

 Thank YOU for the Birthday wish! Hearing from you always makes me smile!

 This entry made me smile...I'm so very proud of you and think it's so wonderful that you are starting to have dreams for the future. I KNOW that you can do it...You're os brave..so strong..so determined!

   Keep shining!

   Love,

     Jewel

Dear Siriana,

   Thank you for your sweet note...Hearing from you brightened my day. 

  Thank you for this note letting us know that you are okay. I was truly concerned about you. I hope that you know that if you ever needed or wanted to talk in private that you could email me! 

 Have a blessed weekend!

  Love,

   Jewel 

Hugs!!!!!!!! What happenned dearone? I am concerned about you! Update soon!

   Love,

    Jewel

Dear Siriana,

   Thank you so much for your wise note.  There was much truth and wisdom to be found in it!  It comforted me...Thank YOU for that.

   I can't believe the nerve of some people...that's really out of bounds!  

  The place sounds lovely..I hope that you stay and enjoy it.

  Thank YOU for being such a long-term and good friend to me.

  I love you!,

    Jewel

Dear Siriana,

   Thank you so much for your supportive and comforting note.  Your Faith increases mine. 

   The Gifts sound so personal and lovely. You did a GREAT job...I know they will love their gifts. I wish that I could do that good at picking out Gifts.

  I pray that your sinus infection and ear soon heals.

  I love your attitude about checking to see where you might have went off track with the weight loss...When I start to diet..I will add this tip to my plan. 

 Have a Blessed Weekend Dearone!

   Love,

     Jewel

  I'm sorry to read that you've been sick..I hope that you feel better by the time that your read this.

   I think it's great that you added her to your friends list.   I'd be interested in knowing what she has to say after all of this time. Let us know how that goes!

   Love you!,

    Jewel

Amen , I bind my prayers with yours!

   Glad that you are sticking to your diet. YAY You.  I may be following your example soon in trieing to lose weight.  Not yet though, I'm not ready to take on the major changes that I need to make until things are a bit more settled with mom.

    Glad the ex-jeff is leaving you alone! I really disliked him for the wya that he treated youa nd jerked you around.

   I'm glad that you are happy now! Stay that way. Keep smiling..Keeping taking good and loving care of yourself!

   Have a blessed day!

   Love you!,

       Jewel

Dear Friend,

  Thank you so much for your concern, your prayers and your support.   You have richly blessed me!  I seem to be doing well...handling things good. Praises be to God..I just hope that I continue to do well  next week when we get the results back from mom's cancer tests.

    I draw strength from prayers-so thank you for letting me know that you will be saying one for me and for Robin. That means so much.  Gives me greater hope on her behalf!

    I'm glad that the food is tasting better...realdeal will be oepning a diary for those who want to lose weight under the name of realdeal2 . Not sure when...But perhaps you would like to join. 

    I need to lose some weight...But not sure that I am there yet...Perhaps this will be of encouragement to me.

    I'm glad that you are in touch Garry...You have such a sweet and strong spirit...I'm sure his will be lifted by your influence. 

    Michael sounds fun..I'm sorry that he has that illness to struggle with...Due to bipolar and anxiety there was a time when I could Not go shopping -barely could make it out of the house. Thank God for Miracles and Meds! LOL

    I hope that your night is filled with Blessings!

    Love,

      Jewel

YAY YAY YAY For the sleeping!  I use to be up all night and sleep all day- before meds...I know how important a good nights sleep is.  I'm glad that you've managed to get your schedule turned around. YAY You!

  Best wishes with finding a new home.

  Have a Blessed weekend!

  Much Love,

     Jewel

  I'm so glad that Jeff is such a good and faithful mate and that he is so good to you and for you! YAY to the Heavens for bringing you a good one!

  That was sweet about your neice..she knows what's truly important!

  Have a blessed weekend!

   Love,

    Jewel

   Thank you so very much for your sweet and loving note. It brightened my day and made me smile! 

    I pray that all is well with you and that you have come through your confusion and know what is best for you!

   Update soon and let us know!

    Much Love,

      Jewel

  I can understand your delima...I want you to be happy and mentally healthy...Do what you need to do to take good care of you..You've been so well and happy!  Allow noone to rob you of that.  Sometimes it's best to shut the door on the past...Only you can decide if this is one of those times.

  Glad that you got to spend some enjoyable time with your family. You sound very close to them.

   Keep us posted on what you decide to do.

  Love,

    Jewel

Dear Sweet Siriana,

  Thank you so very much for the welcome back.  

   This entry so blessed my heart and has me smiling to the Heavens...I'm so happy that you now have someone in your life who treats you well...appreciates you and sees you for the beautiful soul that you are...I remember when you went through all of that crap with the ex-jeff...He put you through so much...I'm glad that he is gone and out of your life..I'm glad that your not having anything to do with his new GF...YAY You for setting healthy boundaries and taking care of your mental health.

    I loved reading about your dreams...I KNOW that you WILL have that future.  I know that YOU will make a terrific mother.  I hope that I will be able to follow that journey with you.

    Congrats on the weight loss! GO YOU!

    Much Love and Gratitude,

            Jewel 

((((((((((((((((((Siriana)))))))))))))))  Heart Hugs! Thank you so very much for your sweet and thoughtful note.  You truly brightened my day.

    I'm so glad that you have Jeff to share Valentines with...Your life with...It's such a Joy to read you happy and inlove.

   I'm sorry that the surgery was so rough.

   I think your gifts sound so thoughtful and romantic.

   I'll miss keeping up with you while I am gone.

  Please take good and loving care of yourself and Jeff.

   Be Blessed! Be Happy!

   Love,

      Jewel

(((((((((((((((((((((((((Siriana)))))))))))))))))))) I pray that your surgery went well. Please update soon and let us know.

   Love,

    Jewel

  I'm so sorry to read that you've been ill!  I pray that your health improves.

  Hang in there,

      Jewel

Have a Blessed Day!

   I'm soooooo glad that you had a good Christmas! YAY

   Your mom sounded sweet.

   Sooooo glad that you are happy.

  Thanks for the support and love that you sent my way.

  Have a Blessed Night and a Happy New Year,

            Jewel

   Dear Siriana,

   Thank you so very much for the prayers for me and Wayne...That means so much to me.  I know that it will make a difference.

   I hope that you have a lovely time with your family..I know that you will...you have a good heart and spirit.

  I'm so happy to read that Jeff is still being so good to you. You deserve it.

   I'm glad that you are ignoring Daniel...I pray that he goes away/

    Merry Christmas!

   Love,

    Jewel 

(((((((((((((Sirianna)))))))))) That is so beautiful!  Thank you for sharing it with us..made me

  Merry Christmas!

   Love,

     Jewel

((((((((((((((((Siriana))))))))))))))))) Does he live close to you?  I'd be freaked out too. He sounds mentally unstable.

    Keep me posted.

   Love you!,

     Jewel

[Jeweliet]

(((((((((((((((((Siriana))))))))))))) This is such a beautiful and heartfelt entry!  I wish there was some way that you could know how very happy I am for you!  I prayed for you to find someone like this. 

   Thank you for the holiday wishes.

   Much Love,

     Jewel

 Dear Friend,

      Glad that you two were able to talk things through and that you are happy and well-loved. You sure do deserve it!

  Love your attitude and gratitude...Loved that you see and listed the blessing in your life and gave thanks to God!

    I'm also planning to deal with my weight issue after the first of the year.  I wish you the best with that.

  Have a Blessed day!

  Love,

   Jewel

You two will work things out...He loves you so much as you do him. It's a blessing to read.

  Have a blessed weekend,

          Jewel

   You are suuuuuuuuch a good Aunt...You handled that with sooo much love and calmness. YAY you! 

  I pray that you feel better soon.

  I am sooooooo glad that youa re happy and safe and secure.

   Smiling at you!

  Love,

    Jewel

Dear Friend,

  Don't let the past rob you of the future...No, you've never been here before...It may feel the same...but you are different...Jeff is different...the situaiton is different...the relationship is different.

   I'm not sure why guys do that...they come on really strong and then when they know they have us they slcak off..I think they relax in the comfort of the relaitonship- that to them comfort is more important than romance. 

  Glad to read that your mom had a good time.

  Wishing you a Blessed Day...I hope that you and Jeff are able to come to a mutual place that will make you both happy!

   Much Love,

      Jewel

Awwwwwww It's good to read you in a love with a good guy!   I hope that you have a great time on your trip!

   Love,

    Jewel

  I am beaming at your happiness!  So grateful that you hear those words- you soooooo deserve too!  He sounds GREAT.

  I hope that you have a greta time on your trip.

  I'm glad to read that you rmom is getting out. That should be good for her.

   Wishing you the best,

        Jewel

  I am soooooooooooo happy to read this entry. I wish that you could see how big I am smiling at you and for you. It has me Praising God! Woooooohoooooooooo  

   I see you shining and glowing!

  Love,

   Jewel

((((((((((((((((((((Siriana)))))))))))))))) Thank you so much for the love-note you left for me.   It truly touched my heart and brightened my day!

    Much Love to You!,

        Jewel

Dear Friend,

   I am glad that you'r enot going back to the zone.  You were so hurt and betrayed. I just think it would be too painful. I know how much you loved Jeff...I was here when you cired your eyes out.   I want you to take good car eof your heart to and turround yourself with good people.  You have such a beautiful heart and spirit. You truly deserve to be loved and valued.

   I smiled at your note to Nita.  I'm glad that you have good people in your life.

    Love,

     Jewel

  I'm glad that you sound happy. That made me smile. You are VERY Lovable!

   Love,

     Jewel

  I think that our words are so powerful...that when we talk about ourselves that way -we create that persona...I hope that Jeff learns to love himself.

   Love,

    Jewel

P.S. Congrats on the radio show.

YAY This is a JOYFUL entry. I wish more people would take the time to stop and think and give thanks for the Blessings of Love in their lives. Loved this entry.

   I love you too!  I think that you're wonderful, delightful, strong, have a good heart and spirit. You're a good friend to others. 

   Glad that you are feeling loved!,

         Jewel 

   Thank you so very much for the comment and support and for celebrating my good news with me!    You're a good friend and I ma blessed to have you in my life. 

   Hope that all is well with you. Update soon!

    Love,

     Jewel

  I hope that your hangover soon passes!  It's always good to hear from you.  I hope that you're having fun by the time that you read this.

   Blessings to you,

        Jewel

Thank you My Friend!!!!!

   You had a very interesting trip...sorry that you had to cut it short.  Sound slike your brother is really going through it...I hope that he has those chest pains checked out.  Glad that you're home safe and sound!

   You've come so far!!!!!!!!  

     Love,

       Jewel 

Happy 4th to you!  I hope that you have a good time.  Thank you soo much for the prayers and support.

   With Gratitude,

       Jewel

Dear Siriana,

   I am glad that you won't be going camping alone...I was a bit concerned about that.  

   The thing with Daniel sounds very scarey!  I am glad that you have blocked him from reading your diary and that he doesn't know where you live.

   Thanks for keeping it so that I can get in...I'd miss you! 

   I know that you have beent hrough so much heartache...Your really coming through the other end of it. It's a blessing to see. You deserve to find some joy in your life.

   I'm glad that you were able to be there for your niece. What a huge difference you make in her life and how much you add to it. You gave her great advice!

   Be Safe Dearone.

    Your Friend,

        Jewel 

Dear Siriana,

    I could feel your humor in this entry. It's sooo good to read you laughing some!  I am also glad that you are planning a camping trip- doing something that you love.  YAY You!

    Wishing you the best!!!!!!,

          Jewel

Hehehehe about the dog but.  That made me giggle.  My dog likes to sleep wiht me too...Aren't they sweet? 

    I am sorry that your sister is going through this...She is blessed to have you there to support her and to understand. 

   Happy Belated Birthday!

   My dad is in Heaven too and I missed him yesterday. 

   I think it's remarkable that you were able to count some blessings during a stressful time.   

    Your Friend,

       Jewel

P.S. Thank you for the hugs!

(((((((((((((((((((((Siriana)))))))))))))))) Sometimes all that I know to do is to hug you.  I know that your pain is real and that the only way out of it is through it...I know that going through it hurts like hell! 

    I am glad that you are able to write and to express yourself so beautifully! 

   I'm glad to know that you are feeling better.

   What you did for your sister was sooo sweet!

   Hang in there.

   Heart hugs,

      Jewel

[Jeweliet]

((((((((((((((((Siriana))))))))))))))))) I pray that you feel better today. Please update soon and let us know how you are doing. 

i agree! relationships (particularly marriage) should be monogamous.. not off f***in with some other person.. if they want to be with other people.. BREAK UP!

self confessed cheater here... but i (like you) know full well why i did it and have worked thru those issues with myself and my boyfriend...

but if u knew your partner was sleeping with another lady.. and you were allowing that... well that is just WRONG.. no1 should have to be put thru the pain of that.. your poor sister..

[iloveubutih8u]

Oh, I can't really say if I'm ready to get married or not.  I'm certainly old enough to get married, but I guess I just haven't found the right one just yet. 

I thought I did - and I loved him very deeply and strongly - but he didn't love me back and definitely didn't want to marry me.

Eventually, though, I'll find the right one.  Until I do, no, I'm not ready to get married.

Every day is someone's birthday.

The world's population is 6,500,000,000 and there are only 366 days. That means every single day has to be the birthday of someone. I thought it would be interesting to see how many different birthdays I can find.

If you would like to participate, please come to my diary and give your birthday in the comments (I do not need your year), and I'll add it to an updated list every time I come back here.  You may give family and friends birthdays too.

Sounds like a very tough meeting!  Glad you are still living. 

 Wishing you the best!,

      Jewel

I am so very happy that you came back and that you have found a loving mate who treats you like you deserve to be treated! 

   Love,

     Jewel

Powerful entry. I'm glad that you got it all out in a healthy way.  I hope that you day gets better.  

   Heart Hugs,

      Jewel 

It sounds like love to me!  Glad that thingsa re going well for youa nd that you're happy.

  Happy Valentines,

      Jewel

Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa   I will miss you and reading yoru diary.  I am glad that you are doing what you need to do to take care of you and to heal. May God be with you on your new journey.

    You will be missed,

         Jewel

(((((((((((Siriana)))))))))))

       Hugs,

          Jewel

(((((((((((((((Siriana))))))))))))) Big Hugs.  Yes, it is normal that you are going through a period of grief and shock.  I am glad that you will keep a check on it though.  These deep hurts cna tend to trigger something more.  I know it will just take time.  I hope that you are able to stay stronga nd not allow him to draw you back into a web of pain.  but I know how hard that is when we love someone.  Just know that I am thinking of you and sending a prayer your way.

     Heart Hugs,

         Jewel

(((((((((((((((Siriana))))))))))))))  Heart hugs!  I pray for your strength and healing as well.  I'm glad you decided to keep your diary open.  I sometimes don't know what to say but I try to keep up with you.  I do care.  I hope that you find someone new...Jeff seems to drive you crazy:(  He's in...HE's out...He's back...He's forth...No wonder you are so dizzy with emotions. 

   Thinking of you!,

         Jewel

Sorry to read that you are going through so much pain and turmoil. 

   Heart hugs,

        Jewel

(((((((((((((((Sirianna))))))))))))) What a beautiful entry!  It brought tears to my eyes and love to my heart.

           With Gratitude,

                  Jewel 

(((((((((((((((((((Siriana))))))))))))))))))))) Big hugs!  How good it is to see you back and happy.  I know that getting over things not working out with Jeff is hard.  But I also know that you have a beautiful heart and soul and that you deserve to be fully loved.  I can understand what you wrote about love not being enough-  I had such a love in my life.  I loved him deeply and knew that he loved me but....That 'BUT" was painful to accept and hard to get over- but my life finally moved on and we are both at a better place.  I think I will always have a special place fo rhim in my heart. 

     Thank You for the mention and for saying a prayer for me.  It means alot!

                      Love,

                         Jewel

RUN, run away from Jeff , he is nothin but trouble

Dear Sirana,

      Does the fact that you and Jeff are back together mean that he is seprerated from his wife ?  If not , I fear that you are putting yourself in a bad position, that you are selling yourself short.  If he could cheat on and lie to her, then how can you see him as someone who is trustworthy?  I hope that I am wrong.  I hope that they are seperated.  You wrote thatyou want to have children.  I think from past entries that you would someday like to be married, to have a faithful husband, to have children with him.  It doesn't seem like Jeff is in a position to offer you any of these things. 

     Flowers are beautiful...But commintment, respect,loyalty, honoring your feelings and cherishing you are worth so much more.  Whatever you do, don't sell yourself short. 

    It sounds like you feel that you have in several of your relationships.  But it sounds like you are starting to see it and to get sick of it.  Which is the beginning of change. 

     One thing that I have learned when it comes to communicating is to own our own pain.  By that I mean rather than to say to someone You hurt me...(which causes them to become defensive.) to own our own paina nd say, 'I feel hurt by... or I felt hurt when you....But if we are dealing with people who can not respect our feelings then we may need to change the perimeters of the relationship.

      I  am glad that you dog is home and better.  Glad that she is back to her loving self and out of pain. YAY God.

             Hugs to You,

                   Jewel 

Dear Sirana,

    I am glad to see that you have updated.  I wondered where you were and how you were doing.  How's your dog? Healing nicely I hope.  I so love mine that I know the bond we have to them.

    I am gald that you are happy.  Congrats on your and jeff making up and getting things back on track.  Somewhere I got confused in your writing.  I thought that Jeff was married.  You must have been writing about someone from the past.  I didn't comment because I wasn't sure what to say if that was the case.  Sorry for my confusion.

      Hugs to You For a Happy Day,

               Jewel

  I'm glad that Soapy is well and gets to come home today -YAY:)  I can tell that you love her alot and that she is a dear compansion and friend.

    Hope the two of you have a great day!,

                 Jewel

[Jeweliet]

(((((((((((((Siriana)))))))))) A very moving and powerful entry on Love. 

                       Love,

                         Jewel